Maybe She's Mental

I asked myself one morning this week as I was laying in bed with my arm around each of  my two daughters, when am I at my happiest?  Right away, I answered.... swimming in the ocean joyfully playing with a dear friend... no responsibilities... no expectations.... just allowing the ocean to cradle me. Mall of America - Nickelodeon Universe And then the rest of my weekend happened... and I realized I have an equally happy time when I'm alone playing with my children.... it went like this:  I agree to go to one of the largest malls in America during Christmas vacation to the indoor amusement park.  It will probably be one of the busiest days of the year for them.  BUT the little cousins were in town and my kids would so love having a fun outing with them.  So I agree to go knowing that my children are excited beyond belief to be able to have this experience.  The first ride.... water ride/log chute... oh man... but Alyse (4) wanted to go and I had to go with her because she wasn

Just got back from vacation in a most vibrant location... so much vibrance that this lady can't sleep during the night.... seriously... every night about 2 or 3 am, I would wake up.  Woah!  And I wasn't tired the next day... must be high in oxygen or something because they pump oxygen into the Vegas casinos so people don't get tired... :)  That's part of the fun.... although I'm not a good customer for them, to me, that just means more time to dance! :) So...  This photo shows where I was. This was taken on one of my morning walks on the beach at about 5:30 or 6 when I finally just decided to get out of bed rather than lay in bed and dance with my iPod. :)  There just is no way I can sleep! Ok... now I need to stop talking about sleep because the title says I'm going to write about a little bit of love craziness.... for one who throws out the term 'love' quite often, I realized a little more about my definition of love; the kind I want to experience

The artist capturing beauty. As I meet new beautiful and incredible people, I am floored to discover after getting past the surface that SO many people (women especially) do not stand firm in the realization of what they are:  truly beautiful and amazing creatures!   It happens time after time!  And even though they are told by many around them, they still don't believe it for themselves.  They keep listening to the voices in their heads of the parental lessons or possibly something that another child said to them when they were 8 that have been drilled into their heads and considered truth. "Your face will only get you so far.  Don't count on that.  You have to work for your accomplishments."  coming from your father at an early age shapes how this woman sees herself for life.... "Does this mean I'm not beautiful?"  Her dad was just trying to teach her the value of work.  He was trying his best.  Now she's in her 40s and still doesn't beli

the First I have been blessed with 3 lovely children.  The first two were pretty much the ideal children.... developed physically right on time or early, learned quickly, listened to direction, gave big hugs, behaved in church (this is important to my parents... :)), are loved by teachers, and shine brightly.  And then (I remember actually saying this), I decided I wanted a little more chaos.... and along came my little teacher. Oh, I learned a LOT about being a Mom from my first two the Second kids; about self-sacrifice and complete dedication, but I didn't really learn about communication, unconditional love, and breaking through boundaries until I was challenged to do so.  I snuggled with her more than I did the others.  I felt the warmth in her heart more deeply.  I wasn't as concerned with goals and bed times and the 'right' way to be a parent.  I let go of the reins.  What did this do for me?  For one, it got me a second appointment with the kindergar

This week my family lost our oldest living member... my grandpa Eddie.  Saying goodbye to a person who lived 104 1/2 years does not hold the same sadness as some other goodbyes, but still it's a change.... life, death, rebirth.... I hope he really opened himself up to one person or a few people.  I hope he experienced vulnerability and pure love.  I know his childhood was so different than mine and his generation had different frameworks on which to build their world view.  I hope he didn't live with guilty feelings from his membership in the Catholic church.  I hope he understood that the love of the divine does not have to be earned.  I hope his smile was genuine from the depth of his soul rather than a duty.  And I hope he feels my love. Happy Trails to you Grandpa!  What will you do next??? :) <3

Why do we take the time to get our children photographed, frame the pictures, and then hang them on the wall?  Well because we like to see our joy!  I suppose after a time you might stop actually looking at the pictures on your wall, but the reason you hung it up in the first place was because you felt some kind of connection to the image and knew that it would bring you some flavor of joy so you displayed it in FULL view. I am a picture nut and I realized that I didn't have ANY pictures of my children on my wall until this fall when they got their school pictures.  Now I certainly do and when I look at them I see their beloved faces all excited to be the subject of the image.  I see the darling outfit they chose; sometimes the favorite shirt, sometimes the fleeting trend.  Whatever it is that comes to mind, it's always joyful and makes me smile. Some of the best 'framer' pictures are ones where the child is not even close to smiling with a big cheesy grin... I h

I think I might have had my first negative funk today... not depression, not even close, but just a general sadness and for no real apparent reason.  I was excessively emotional and just couldn't fully remove myself from this mood.... although yoga did help a ton.  I still felt like I was heavy and a weight was on my chest. I left a little early from work to prepare for my evening with my kids which included BOTH Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts.  I wasn't sad around my kids or at the events... actually I had a great time at both!  I thought about it after the kids were in bed.... I had lost my negative funk somewhere in the evening taking care of them!  They brought me sanity tonight. This is something to note because many nights I have noticed that my sanity has been reduced when I go home. :)  Maybe/hopefully, this is a new trend!  I'll take it! Children, the new psycho-ceudical! :)

Ah... our relationship with food... this I have contemplated and studied for years.... unofficially of course.  I didn't take a formal course in dietetics because I saw what they served on hospital menus.  I didn't study to be an expert prepare-er of food, I just read different books, watched some documentaries, and signed up for some newsletters online to get the 'black market' scoop on nutrition. I thought food was the way to health.  And OH it's a very good start!  But I think there's much more to the state of being 'healthy' that has nothing to do with the food that goes into your mouth. Picture needed:   Really good omelette in Kauai! :) I listened to a talk given by a Native American woman in northern Wisconsin recently.  She talked about fasting.  The Native Americans use fasting to discover truths about their souls, destiny, true calling.  What do we do with food?  We do the opposite.  We fill our face with food when fear, sadness,

How does a doe stay unseen by a potential predator?  She freezes.  She's still.  She's silent.  This is her cover, her security blanket, her way of surviving..... This lovely girl and I had a little conversation so she understood that I didn't mean any harm, but her stillness got me to thinking:  stillness is not something we humans do very well.  Heck, it's one of the most difficult poses in yoga.  I am sure there have been many times I have passed by some animal in the woods and never even knew they were there because they used their 'statue' skills and were one with their surroundings.   Getting comfortable with stillness and quiet is one of the most powerful things one can do for themselves.  In the stillness and in the quiet, we can hear our own breath, our own heartbeat, and the whispers of our soul.  I would highly recommend practicing... then you will have your very own inner sanctuary; a place to cultivate peace within.

You might recognize that title from a U2 song... just came to me when I was thinking about this little something I learned from the forest....   Despite the overlapping canopy overhead, there's always some light that is able to get through.... especially when the wind blows.  :)   Bless the wind, bless the light, bless the shadows, bless the trees! And here is the image to go along with the thought:  

So I met a few Arabs this week through a couple friends (Arab) that I met a few weeks ago at Irish Fest (of course).  Most of these men were younger men 20-30 years of age and generally nice people.  When I met the first of the Arabs, I started giving them hugs and they really had no idea how to give a proper hug... the heart to heart kind.  So I taught them and they learned quickly... they also thought it was incredibly funny that I gave hugs so readily.  They would ask me to hug every Arab man that came up to visit with them and I would.  I'm all about hugging! There was one man in particular that asked for a couple hugs and then asked if I could give him a hug every day for the next month that he has to be in town for medical reasons.  I said sure!  He got my number so we could meet.  Well today I met him after a series of texts and he really wasn't looking for a daily hug because he pretty much passed up the hug to ask me if I would come up to his room in the hotel!!!!

I have to admit to being quite the light weight.... meaning.. give me 2 glasses of wine and I'm laughing at the silliest things... although, not much is needed along the lines of humor to get me laughing heartily these days... BUT tonight I have had 2 glasses of wine so I'm in the mood to giggle. So tonight I will giggle about garlic... the last two evenings going home on the bus, I have been fortunate enough to sit behind a person who either eats garlic all the time, or went to our local Italian restaurante for some garlic infused dish for lunch because WOAH, I could smell it! Thankfully it doesn't repulse me.. it makes me giggle... and I'm most likely going to be the one with this fine odor in the morning as I generously doused my chicken with garlic tonight and I can even smell it on me at the moment!  :) While I'm wine giddy and staying up, I thought I'd at least get a post out there about odors on the bus... I am sure there could be worse! Can't w

Yep... that's what I did today... I slept until 1:18 in the afternoon!  I didn't go to bed that late - 11:30 or so, but I slept until 1:18!  I woke up around 8 am and thought to myself... I'll just stay in bed a little while longer... and then my body decided I needed to catch up on some major morning sleep! I'm not sick.  I wasn't even particularly tired (or drunk) when I went to bed last night. When I woke up at 8 am I felt just fine.  That was just a power body move.  YOU are tired and I'm shutting you down for a few hours (about 5).  I guess my body made the decision for me as to whether I go to the Irish Breakfast.... HA!  I didn't even make it to Irish lunch- if they had one! :)  I wasn't sore either when I woke up that late... like bed sore from being in one position for too long.  It was as if that time just slipped away and didn't really elapse. Oh how grateful I am that I had the chance to crash for that long!  I'm not even sure I

I have reserved TONS of books, DVDs, CDs from the library over the last 10 years or so on various topics of health and well being.  I have engaged in just about every type of body movement class/recreation you could find in these parts to be fit.  I have signed up for countless newsletters from web sites that send out inspirational quotes, natural health news, and personal transformation theories.  I have joined groups talking about angels, drums, stones, and spirits.... but really it's very simple.... The best way to be happy and healthy is to love with the greatest amount of LOVE possible. Full Stop. LOVE YOU!

I have kids.  I love them. I love to plan events and take them to experience different people/places/activities.  When I'm there, I'm truly enjoying the time with them.  I even take my little boy along with us when we have Girl Scout events because... why not??  But then there's my alone time. OH.... now that is SUCH a gift!  I never used to get free time... not at home free time.  I was always doing something with the kids or if I was alone, it was because I had planned something with friends, but now... NOW I get to choose how I spend my alone time and I get to be at home!  Rewind a few years and I would have spent this organizing a kid's closet or scrubbing a bathroom.  Now I really don't care! :)  I did wash everyone's sheets and hung them all on the clothesline (for OPTIMAL fresh odors) and vaccuumed up the plaster that the wee one picked off the crack in the wall about 3 months ago on the wall going up the stairs. BUT I did not do any more cleaning! ;)

I moved into a very well established house in November (read OLD). ;)  One of the fun things (and there are MANY) about buying a well established house is that you get to discover what's present.  There was a nice flower garden in the back by the patio, but I really didn't know what was planted there on purpose and what weeds had overtaken the nice black soil... There were some really tall left-overs which I now know are Tiger Lillies and some cone flowers and day lilies.  I added a lavender plant and a few other perenials....oh and of course a fairy statue because I know that the fairies are with me when I'm working in my garden and I wanted them to be around the shamrock plants.. :)  Yes I know those are weeds, but they are weeds I keep because they are shamrocks. ;) Tiger Lillies.... Princess? :) Three big barrel planters also were inherited with the house.  Two of them are growing weeds and some new maple trees, but one of them is growing a new raspberry plant a

When I feel something coming up, I stop and bring up the blog... empty slate.. white openness. Right now is one of those times.  I was looking through the pictures from last night. I was visiting the horses.  I went there to assist some children/adults who don't have full mental or physical capabilities ride horses, but not many of the students attended so I ended up spending some time talking to the horses... giving them some love and also riding the BIG rambunctous half Clydesdale whom I so enjoy riding because she has a lot of 'get up and go'! :)  She always wants to run and man... that's what I love about riding.... running.... attached to a powerful and beautiful animal... trying your best to act as one... to communicate with arms, legs, words, and thoughts..... It's one of the most beautiful connections possible.  Just feeling the power of their hind legs beneath you.... oh gees... crying....  Sierra.... my sweet! Insert image so I can collect myse

I'm trying out this unconditional love thing.... man does it feel like FREEDOM!  There's a knowing in the connection.  There's a trust like no other.  There is no fear.  It's pure and raw and SO fulfilling.  I just erased ' the most fulfilling relationship I've known'.... from the end of that last sentence... WHY?  Who cares?  I don't care if I offend a parent, sibling, aunt, etc... it's the truth.   I'm tired of speaking so others don't get upset. And because I have chosen to love another unconditionally, I am BURSTING with love... not just for the recipient, but for anyone that walks into my vision.  Now I get how people in this kind of relationship make everything and everyone around them FEEL their love.   I get it and it's SO powerful!  It takes a lot of exposure and heart opening, but it's what makes life REAL! DAMN I can even feel it in my teeth!  Why do you need love in your teeth....?  Why not? :)  That's been comin

I don't know if this is normal for other people, but in one single day for me, I have many personal encounters with people.  Today... I accepted a gift from a co-worker who was handing off YEARS of work she had put into teaching young people.  She explained all the lessons which she had nicely arranged in folders with proper headings.  She also offered to assist me in transferring the information to the kids that I might encounter.  She gave me a HUGE chunk of her life.... a passion of hers... she trusts me with her passion. Not much later, I got a call from my best friend in Alaska.  She was starting her day and was feeling down.  She was deeply missing the foster baby that was removed from her home to go to extended family members a couple weeks ago.  She had fallen in love with the little baby girl and she really feels a BIG desire to have a family.  She was calling me to hear my voice and find a way to smile when she felt such a weight in her heart.  She gave me the gift of

Vacation... I'm trying out a couple kinds of vacations this summer.... one, leaving my country alone and meeting up with a bunch of strangers on a beach and the other taking my loved ones to a lake and spending some time alongside a rock bottomed lake.... Both have great potential, but mostly my vote goes to the former as the most vacation-like. You would think strangers couldn't be loved ones in a matter of days, but this is not the case in my vacation situation.  It's quite the phenomena.  Heck... actually I knew instantly in some cases that they would be loved ones. I found on the second vacation expedition that the rocks were my favorite hanging out spot.  There are rocks all over the place here and I found sitting in them, walking through them, or swimming over them was the calmest most relaxing time of my vacation.  What is it about them that brought me present?  I'm sure the sound of the waves contributed, but pretty much I would just enjoy seeing through the

You don't see teeter totters much any more on playgrounds.. the fulcrum and lever contraption that probably sent too many little sisters flying through the air and to the Emergency Room... BUT we still see them in our lives and understand the concept COMPLETELY if we have ever been flung or (almost worse) pounded to the ground on a teeter totter. You're SURE of a decision... you're so happy and free because the decision is behind you... and then BAM... something changes or something comes back in the picture and you go from flying high status (because face it, the TOP is the BEST part of the teeter totter) to somewhere in the middle or maybe even back on the ground - hopefully it's not the GRAND SLAM where your bottom gets a bruise. And you are back in deliberation.  How did I feel so certain and then one little change and my resolve goes out the window.  I KNOW what it is that I need to decide, but why is it so hard to get out of the patterns that are comfortable? 

I made myself a salad tonight (Greek even though I had two helpings of Greek salad today at our International Lunch event at work) and sat outside in the lovely evening sun to BE in my backyard.  I was facing my small fleur garden which I am just getting to know as I just acquired it this year and have no idea what's planted there except the lavender plant I placed there early this spring (she's doing splendidly I might add).    I also placed a fairy statue (in honor of my Nana) and a bird bath (a housewarming gift from a dear friend).  The rest of the growth I have NO idea what it was intended to be. I think there are some day lilies and I know there are a couple of maple tree seeds that took a hold that need to be extracted, but some of the other growth, I just can't tell if it's fleur or weed.  This happened to me one of the first years I planted a garden... I thought for SURE what was coming up was peas, oh and they were flourishing, until they got to be really bi

I have been thinking about doing this for a while and now I finally have.... taken pictures of the gorgeous images I see when I walk into work every day.  They will speak for themselves, but I will tell you where they are. Lighting in the foyer on street level. This is what I see when I look up whilst waiting for an elevator. Mr. Owl on the top molding of the wall street level. Above the elevator doors sits the two dragons and the tree. The full elevator door on the street level. Chandelier and ceiling intricacy- street level.  Celtic knots inside the elevator cars on the ceiling. The Up and Down arrows - my floor. A vent with oil lamp and owl overlooking- my floor. Owl carving on ceiling molding - my floor. Genie's lamp and book on ceiling molding - my floor. A large vulture type bird on the ceiling molding - my floor. Marble bathroom stalls - my floor. Art on the building across the courtyard  through the doors.

A shredded beet heart! <3 I have only ever had beets cooked, but TODAY I tried them in the buff (the beets not me)! :)  They are incredibly delicious!  Not only do they taste so pleasing, but the patterns internally are so fun to discover (as I was using my peeler to shred the beets).  They are just a BLAST to prepare!  I really am not sure why I haven't discovered them in the past.... When I was purchasing the beets at the grocery store I realized something about my food preferences as well.  I got EXTREMELY excited in the produce section - the leafy green vegetable section to be precise.  I looked at the wall of veg and conjured up ideas of Napa cabbage wraps and herbed melon smoothies.  'Oh, how could I use that celery root?  I don't think I've tried that before, I will have to get that some time....' was actually a thought pattern I remember having. Yes some men get giddy at the meat counter, but I feel my pulse quicken with excitement when up against a